Appease
A Good Word Smeared
These are troubling times. Troubling for us mortals. Troubling for the gods who attempt to rule our world, and corral our language. So, these times are no less troubling for words as well. Words for me are living things. They have lives and histories. Words can be either nurtured or abused. Some are allowed to grow and change over time. Others are locked inside glaciers frozen and meaningless. There are words that migrate from one language to another, while their siblings remain grounded at home with their mother tongues, changing very little because they were so solid and complete when they were born.
And some words are smeared.
For a time there was an attempt to shackle the word “compassionate” to “conservative”, and in the process was almost smeared. This word, compassion, which for a while was in some danger, fared better than many. Maybe because it is such a powerful word on its own that it was able to break free from such limitations, and now we are all free to be compassionate again. Or perhaps in light of the images of New Orleans after the storms the word “conservative” was diminished, and could no longer hold the binds. Compassion survived. Compassion endures. I hold small hope for its recent cellmate.
There is another word that has not fared so well. And this word is one that we will be hearing repeatedly, the staccato rat-tat-tat so often part of any smear campaign. And the word is appease.
What does it mean to appease? What exactly is an appeaser? What is at the root of this urge, of this word? Why is it so maligned, especially now in these troubled times?
The taproot of appease comes from Latin by way of the French. Deep in the soil is the Latin word, pax. A bit closer to the surface is the Old French, pais, and then closer still to the topsoil is apaiser, and then just beneath the surface is the Old English word apesen. They all mean the same – peace. A common thread even to this day. The modern definition of appease is: to make quiet; to calm; to reduce to a state of peace; to still; to dispel anger.
It is for me a tragedy to witness such a wonderful word maligned so frequently by those who know nothing of its history, of its ancestors, of its deep inner life.
Much these days is made of “appeasing the Nazis” before the war. But what if we were to look at history with a little less judgment for a moment and let it speak to us with a clear voice of what was? The times then in Europe in the 30s were quite different from our time. Less than two decades before their lands and their people were decimated in a war of unimaginable savagery. Memories, no less than lungs, were seared with the poison fog that blanketed their lives for a time. Some had little stomach for more. Others saw that conflict led to more conflict, that hatred only amplifies itself, and never diminishes of its own accord.
And still others took a great risk. They risked being forever maligned by future generations as “appeasers”. But all such labels are merely artifacts of hindsight. Who can know in the moment the wisdom of any path, of any choice? There were times when my child was small, and he was crying, and I appeased him. I held him close, and stroked his hair until he was still, until he was calm, until he was himself again. There were other times when I didn’t. Any parent in rare moments of vulnerable self-disclosure will say that they do not know for sure what is the best thing to do. Often they do what they think best, and hope that it turns out to be the “right thing”.
Every moment when we choose to appease, we choose a path of great risk. We choose a path that is not dependent on the actions, or reactions, of others. It is a path of non-contingency. When we choose such a path, it is one of stillness. A path of calmness. A path of hopefulness and moderation. There are also times when this path proves to be a dangerous one, and sometimes it even proves to be a deadly one.
But not always.
Now may not be the best time to reclaim this beautiful word, this word that can only be uttered by using the whole mouth. It is a word that begins in the back of the throat with a strong vowel, and then forces our lips together, and then invites our tongues forward to complete the sound. It is a good word, a clean word. I will wait patiently for its return.
Yet, I have no doubt that this word will endure, that in time, like compassion, it will prevail.