
The very speed and convenience of e-mail as a way of communicating is also a contributor to miscommunications of various types. This is one of the obvious conclusions that Emotional Intelligence (EI) guru, Daniel Goleman, presents in
a recent piece in the New York Times.
When there is a miscommunication of some importance - and that often means misunderstood tone, or a poorly worded joke - reverting to more direct communication is the way to go. He writes:
The advantage of a phone call or a drop-by over e-mail is clearly greatest when there is trouble at hand. But there are ways in which e-mail may subtly encourage such trouble in the first place.
This is becoming more apparent with the emergence of social neuroscience, the study of what happens in the brains of people as they interact. New findings have uncovered a design flaw at the interface where the brain encounters a computer screen: there are no online channels for the multiple signals the brain uses to calibrate emotions.
Face-to-face interaction, by contrast, is information-rich. We interpret what people say to us not only from their tone and facial expressions, but also from their body language and pacing, as well as their synchronization with what we do and say.
Most crucially, the brain's social circuitry mimics in our neurons what's happening in the other person's brain, keeping us on the same wavelength emotionally...
The entire article is mercifully brief, and so worth a read. I am continually amazed at Goleman capacity to make the obvious seem so subtle, and how he had managed to build such a worldwide franchise on such a misnomer as "EI".
It did remind me, though, of a flame war in The Well, if memory serves - an early iteration of "social networking" from a decade or more ago (and is still alive, and well... well). The initial message that started the cascade of insults and abusive messages back and forth was:
I resent your message.
If only the writer had written, "I sent your message again"...